I Killed the King With My Lies

..September 2008 Nagasaki..
8:02PM Hotel Room across from the museum. Sitting on the bed

My first night in Nagasaki. Sitting in my hotel room staring at a tv that only speaks Japanese. Outside the window I have a view of the atomic bomb epicenter. 64 years ago death and destruction reeked outside. Now I’m sitting in a business hotel a 1/2 block away.

I’ve traveled for 2 straight days. 16 hour flight New York to Tokyo. 5 hours sleep, 9 hours Tokyo to Nagasaki by train. It’s 8:00PM, I’m exhausted and curious about who I’ll meet in the morning when I start the first portraits. What will they say? Will they be offended I’m American?

..Nagasaki..
It’s pitch black outside the window. I can’t keep my eyes open. My body has traveled half the globe. ET on the tv dubbed in Japanese. Wake-up early. Walk around the epicenter. Get ready for portraits.

..September 7th, 2008 Nagasaki, Japan 15:00..
My fear of Failing….My fear of Being Myself….My fear of someone else’s Thoughts….

…Arrived under a bright sunshine, while rain teared down from the clouds. I’ve never seen rain on a sunny day. Nagasaki is at the Edge of the Japanese main islands. No where to go once you reached the end…

Looked out at the small chain of islands that Seiichi’s grandmother witnessed the white flash of August 9th, 1945. 2 miles away on the shoreline. I’m sure she has seen it many times in her mind.

I don’t know what is inside me. Excitement, Desire, Fear, Boredom, Love, Revenge, Apathy, Lies, Truth, Complicated, Sympathy….

..September 2008 1 block from epicenter, Nagasaki..

..Where I realized how to love people..By myself..by the river 6PM sunset 1 block from epicenter..
..Where I realized why I traveled across the world to meet these people..Where I found emotion in Nagasaki..

..The first time I saw the reflection in the small stream running next to the epicenter, this was when the devastation hit me. It’s one of the most moving photos I took. Peaceful but remorseful.

..I first saw the reflection of the archway in the shallow water. As August 9th, 1945 grew older the pile of bodies multiplied in the canal. Eventually making a dam of corpses which stopped the running water. The corpses piled almost to the top of the 20 foot archway.

Along with the reflection of the archway, I can see the reflection of innocent that didn’t need to die. Why did this happen? It didn’t need to. This image has more of an effect on me than the epicenter. How can a scene so peaceful be a grave 64 years ago?

..Where I realized what happened. Where I realized war is fucking shit..that kills the innocent..