Nicole

January 19th, 2025

…i never had the opportunity to photograph David Lynch. the closest i came was photographing Nicole Laliberte, who a decade after this photograph, became an actor best known for her role as Darya in David Lynch’s Twin Peaks.

this photograph was from a fashion editorial i photographed with Nicole. my friend Pete, who was the stylist, grew up with her. at the time, she was featured in fashion campaigns shot by Ellen Von Unwerth. this was my only chance to work with Nicole because her career was taking off.

we photographed at the Brooklyn Navy Yard, which was still mostly abandoned industrial storage. Pete knew a security guard who we gave $20 to allow us to pass through the gates and photograph in the blighted factory spaces.

Nicole was one the best i photographed. before we took the first photograph, she said to me, “Don’t tell me what to do, just follow me.” it was easy, and i never felt lost or at a dead-end like i often did when i photographed fashion. it was exhausting because she was constantly in motion. we were working with strobe lights that were powered by a heavy generator, and Pete had to keep moving the lights because we would run out of the frame.

the photographs are more cinematic than fashion oriented, which became the case with all of my fashion editorials. Nicole was a perfect person to photograph because she was authentic.

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The Get Up Kids

January 15th, 2025

…The Get Up Kids…over the holidays i was cleaning negatives, slides, and prints that occupy half of my home in New York. i found prints of The Get Up Kids that i photographed in late 1999 or early 2000. i haven’t looked at them since shortly after they were photographed.

they were in NY either touring or promoting the release of Something To Write Home About. i had been working with their publicist Lisa and was commissioned to do press photographs. we photographed a bunch of cross processed negatives in the snow on Chrystie Street, which were printed in several magazines like Alternative Press.

this photograph was taken where they were staying. i don’t remember taking this photograph. but i like it because of its candor. it’s a document and not a promotional photograph. i probably dismissed these feelings about it twenty-five years ago.

what i also find interesting are the items on the table, a teacup full of cigarette butts, Pay Day candy bar wrapper, cordless phone, an analog camera that wasn’t mine, a CD, bottle of Excedrin, and three cigarette boxes that look crushed. it’s cool that they trusted me to come back to the place they were staying because i don’t think a publicist would allow that today. the access was better than, and people seemed much more genuine.

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Nat Gray, lead singer of The Iron Roses

January 14th, 2025

…Nat Gray, lead singer of The Iron Roses…i was aware of Nat’s music from BoySetsFire. last year we got in contact after i posted a portrait of a transgender girl from my project Embrace. i immediately wanted to photograph Nat because They felt so authentic and, for less of a reason, i’ve recently missed photographing musicians.

i photographed a lot of musicians for assignments earlier in my career. while the majority of those assignments lasted for minutes with people who were not interested in being photographed, occasionally there was someone who came in front of the camera who was compelling. everything about Nat seemed to have many layers, and i had to photograph Them!

it took almost a year. i was traveling in europe and Nat was touring. i’ve learned during my 30 year career is that meaningful photographs are 90% patience and psychological, 1% knowing how to use the camera, 1% good light, and 8% not showing anyone the bad photographs i’ve taken. my patience was rewarded while Nat was taking a few hours off from writing.

while i waited, i wrestled about how to photograph this portrait. i haven’t photographed a portrait of a musician in many years. the last music assignment i shot was a few tour dates last summer with the Rolling Stones, but that didn’t include any portraits. there was a lot about Nat that interested me, so i didn’t just see this as creating a portrait of a rock star. but i also realized that what was being recorded by The Iron Roses was more genuine and truthful than what others were singing about. this battle went on in my mind until i understood that the photograph would be determined the moment Nat was in front of the camera. i wasn’t the one who was going to say who Nat is. it was Nat.

this is the first frame snapped on my Hasselblad. there were 36 frames photographed while a cold winter light wrapped around Nat from the window. this frame has a little more of a spark than the others. the mystery of light and film can’t be explained, but the light shining on Nat was well deserved. i’m proud of this portrait and the others we captured, but i’m happier about the friendships with Nat and Becky, co-singer of the Iron Roses.

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Alan Wilder

January 13th, 2025

…Alan Wilder…Recoil…formerly of Depeche Mode…over the holidays i was cleaning negatives, slides, and prints that occupy half of my home in New York. i found prints of Alan Wilder that i photographed in September 1999. i haven’t looked at them since shortly after they were photographed.

Alan left Depeche Mode four years earlier and was doing press for the Recoil album “Liquid.” i was commissioned by Outburn Magazine to photograph a portrait. it turned out to be my first cover in a national magazine. a different portrait from this session was used on the cover. this portrait has never been published.

late September in New York used to be raw and gray. the weather forecast hit a bullseye that morning. i stood on the record label’s rooftop as the wind whipped above Broadway, with Alan, his wife, and Lisa, the publicist who was the first to hire me in New York to photograph bands for Beggars Banquet. rooftop shots in New York City were the “thing” during the late 90’s, and i wasn’t experienced enough to suggest other options.

Alan was a nice guy which helped. it was obvious that i was nervous. the conversation calmed both of us. he spoke about his fear of flying. a few years prior he had witnessed a small plane crash while driving in the countryside. it’s probably difficult being in a famous band like Depeche Mode while having a fear of flying.

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Blixa Bargeld

January 12th, 2025

…Blixa Bargeld from the band Einstürzende Neubauten…over the holidays i was cleaning negatives, slides, and prints that occupy half of my home in New York. i found prints of Blixa Bargeld that i photographed for Outburn Magazine in 2000. i haven’t looked at them since shortly after they were photographed.

i had a few minutes to photograph a portrait of him across the street from Gramercy Park Hotel. i remember standing in the hotel lobby with the publicist. Blixa came from his room said hello, he took a few steps outside, lit up a cigarette, then we walked across the street, he smoked in front of the park gate while i frantically photographed half a roll of color 35mm film and a roll of Tri-X 120mm in my Mamiya 7ii. nothing was said. i knew instinctively that my time was done once the cigarette was finished. looking at the negative sheets, i was able to photograph 20 frames of 35mm and 10 frames of 120mm film.

this was my third assignment for Outburn, and i was still inexperienced at handling assignment work. the photograph of Blixa that i printed for my portfolio was in color. i still think it’s the best portrait from that session. but this one caught my attention a quarter century later. there’s something about it that i haven’t found the word for. in the 1990’s, it would have gone in the portfolio book. i miss that….now it gets scanned and posted….

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Ursula Rucker

January 11th, 2025

…Ursula Rucker…over the holidays i was cleaning negatives, slides, and prints that occupy half of my home in New York. i found negatives of Ursula Rucker that i photographed for a magazine in December 2001. Ursula is a spoken word artist. she’s a brilliant writer and has collaborated with many artists, most notably The Roots.

i never gave this portrait to the magazine because they wanted to run a color image. i’m not sure if i’ve looked at this B/W portrait since i developed it. it’s probably better than the photograph that was published. the eyes are always the key in a strong portrait. when i got this assignment, i was too inexperienced at editing because after a quarter century of experience since, i would have fought to publish this portrait.

when i photographed for magazines, i kept a roll of Tri-X in my Mamiya 7ii that i would use to experiment with. this roll was developed with a lith developer. i used lith often because i hardly had any success with it. lith developer was unpredictable, and i’m sloppy when it comes to science. but in the few instances that i got printable negatives, it would be interesting. i took more chances as a photographer when i was younger. i’m not sure why i was so daring back then because if i didn’t submit a photograph that was better than what i did before, an editor wouldn’t hire me again. it was probably me being more crazy and hungry than daring.

i had to clean this negative a few times after it had been dormant in the plastic sleeve since 2001. i’m looking forward to making a final print that i can frame. in the 1990’s, it would have gone in the portfolio book. i miss that….now it gets scanned and posted….

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Sarajevo

January 10th, 2025

…15:17…Sarajevo… before i arrived i looked at photographs of Bascarsija, The Old Town, taken during the Siege of Sarajevo when the famous part of the city was obliterated. every photograph was filled with smoke, fire, and destruction that reigned the sky. i wanted to stand in the same place where most of these photographs were taken. today, instead of missiles, bullets and artillery, the sky was mostly filled with birds gliding from rooftop to rooftop.

i’ve tried for ten years to photograph stories about women and children who experienced the Siege of Sarajevo. all attempts lead to a dead end. this time, i’m in Sarajevo to continue photographing my project about transgender and gender non-binary people. i had also tried to photograph this subject in Sarajevo for years and got nowhere. a couple of weeks ago, out of desperation, i tried again and was able to photograph six people who i’m extremely grateful for their bravery.

this photograph reminds me of a photograph i took years ago in Alexanderplatz. a bird flew into the frame while i was photographing an abandoned building that had Stop Wars painted across the top.

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Holiday Inn Hotel, Siege of Sarajevo

January 9th, 2025

…15:20…Sarajevo….i walked four steps into the room and took it. the shades were cracked open, framing the cityscape.

i’ve always wanted to stay at the former Holiday Inn in Sarajevo. from my first day at university until graduation, all the news we got about the war raging in the Balkans came from the reporters who were housed in the Holiday Inn. at a place i used to eat on campus called The Tavern, they had a television that broadcast CNN. a shocking war in the middle of Europe captured my imagination.

every broadcast during the three year Siege of Sarajevo seemed to have the Holiday Inn, which looked like it was built with yellow legos, in it. this hotel, built for the Winter Olympics just 10 years prior, was now sitting in the middle of Sniper Alley. later in my career i met photojournalists who covered the war, and everyone of them told me, you just walked into the Holiday Inn, and the war came to you.

this is my first night, and these walls have too many stories to tell. i could tell when i walked up the driveway and was dwarfed by this strange yellow Lego. i’ve tried for ten years to photograph stories about women and children who experienced the Siege of Sarajevo. all attempts lead to a dead end. tonight, i’m in Sarajevo to continue photographing my project about transgender and gender non-binary people. i had also tried to photograph this subject in Sarajevo for years and got nowhere. a couple of weeks ago, out of desperation, i tried again. i plan to photograph six people for the Embrace project. i’m always nervous the night before photograph. the doubts always creep in.

i haven’t met any of the people i’m photographing yet. my first portrait is in nine hours. but from my brief correspondence i know i’m going to learn from these six brave people. i have been in Sarajevo for eight hours. it’s a beautiful place and the people are friendly. but i’m not sure how accepting it is to the transgender and gender non-binary community. these six people already have my respect for being brave enough to share their story with me.

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Sniper Alley, Sarajevo

January 6th, 2025

…9:02…Sarajevo….Sniper Alley just outside the Holiday Inn Hotel.  Thirty years ago, during the siege that lasted four years, Sniper Alley ran along the main boulevard into and out of Sarajevo.  Sarajevo is a long and narrow city that sits in a valley with mountains on each side. Serbian snipers were positioned in the high-rise buildings along the road and mountains a little further away.  They picked off anything that moved in the street or who they could see in the windows of the apartments.  Civilians still had to move around the city to survive.  They risked their lives each time they stepped outside to get water, food, or wood to burn for heat. 

What seemed insane but was reality, they either ran down a street to hide behind an obstacle, like a destroyed tram or car, or would wait for United Nations armored vehicles and walk behind them, using them as shields.  It was luck that kept people from dying in the street.  In most cases, if someone was shot, the body couldn’t be retrieved easily since the snipers would then prey on the people trying to recover the body. It was barbaric.

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SniperAlley, Sarajevo

January 5th, 2025

…16:19…Sarajevo….A woman walking alongside the traffic in what was known as Sniper Alley during the Siege of Sarajevo. Thirty years ago, during the siege that lasted four years, Sniper Alley ran along the main boulevard into and out of Sarajevo. Sarajevo is a long and narrow city that sits in a valley with mountains on each side. Serbian snipers were positioned in the high-rise buildings along the road and mountains a little further away. They picked off anything that moved in the street or who they could see in the windows of the apartments. Civilians still had to move around the city to survive. They risked their lives each time they stepped outside to get water, food, or wood to burn for heat.

What seemed insane but was reality, they either ran down a street to hide behind an obstacle, like a destroyed tram or car, or would wait for United Nations armored vehicles and walk behind them, using them as shields. It was luck that kept people from dying in the street. In most cases, if someone was shot, the body couldn’t be retrieved easily since the snipers would then prey on the people trying to recover the body. It was barbaric.

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